The
other day, I found myself having to go to my local Walmart for a few
things. I should be upfront about the fact that I have a love/hate
relationship with Walmart. Frankly, I love the prices. And, who
doesn't love being able to get toilet paper, grapes, dog food, and
sunblock all in one place? You can even do so while getting the oil
changed in your car and your prescriptions filled. One-stop shopping
at its finest.
But
there's a downside. Something about the place just showcases the
weird, the wild, and the woefully rude in people. Now, I'm all for
weird. Weird is good. But there is such a thing as too much of a good
thing. Just check out www.peopleofwalmart.com if you don't believe
me. But that's not what gets to me. It's the wild and rude that
scrape at my nerves like nails on the proverbial chalkboard.
Which
brings me to my recent shopping trip. I had just arrived and was
making my usual circuitous route, pushing my cart towards the health
care aisles. As I rounded the corner there, I could hear a woman
hollering questions at the top of her lungs. “Well how many do they
have?” wafted over the air from a disembodied voice. I continued on
towards the back of the store and heard a man hollering back. I
realized they were together. Rather than walk up to the products they
needed and look together at their options, hubby was standing near
the sporting goods trying his hardest to get what wifey wanted by
answering her questions. From about 20 yards away.
I
was mentally shaking my head, thinking about how discourteous they
were, and how much easier it would have been for the wife to just
walk over to the shelf and get what she wanted, as obviously
whatever was going into that household was only coming in upon her
approval, when I was nearly mowed down by three preteen boys on
bikes. Yes, that's right. Bikes. Three boys riding bicycles through
the store, startled customers jumping out of the way as they plowed
through the crowds without warning. I gave them a distinct “What
the . . . ?” look and continued on, wondering where the hell their
parents were, then thinking maybe the parents' presence wouldn't be
an improvement.
I
picked up the pace, wanting more than ever to retreat to the relative
sanity of my home. As I made my way down the aisles, I had a few
near crashes with shoppers who felt the need to ram their carts
through aisle traffic, waited patiently as several people made their
selections while blocking the whole aisle, and smiled and said,
“Excuse me,” despite the rudeness or complete lack of self
awareness of those around me. I was determined to get out of there
without pushing my mood into the toilet. But I could sense impending
failure.
Finally,
I pulled up to the checkout lanes. Huge lines behind every single one
with a light told me I was in for more frustration. I sighed and
chose one of the express lanes, happy I was leaving with well under
the 20 item limit. I glanced to my right and saw a man pull up with a
cart practically overflowing, standing in the express lane next to
me. I had the overwhelming urge to throw a can of peas at his head.
But I restrained myself. Partly because my inner Buddha told me that
would be wrong. But mostly because I wasn't buying peas.
Having
dumped my bags in the car and suffering from an itch to be far away
from the place, I began down the main drive between the store and the
parking area. I stopped for people in the crosswalk, watching a guy
with his face buried in a magazine walk from the store to the parking
lot, never once lifting his eyes away from the page. I guess I should
have been impressed that at least it was a printed page and not a
screen.
But
that guy was the last straw. I thought to myself, “What is wrong
with people? How did we become so rude, so thoughtless, so completely
unaware of ourselves?” I thought, “we,” but I really meant,
“they.” I'd like to think I'm not any of those things. I try
really hard to be thoughtful of others. To be kind and courteous. I
open doors for others, often let people with less things go ahead of
me in line, ask people if I can help them reach things when I see
them struggling. It's really not that hard. I swear it's not.
I've
long thought my combination Southern and military upbringing was
responsible for my manners. I still call people “ma'am” and
“sir.” I say “please” and “thank you.” I would never,
ever ride a bike through a store. I'm absolutely baffled by the
overwhelming lack of manners in this world. When did that happen? I
remember as a kid, being expected to be on my best behavior at all
times. I remember my mama threatening to pull me in the bathroom if I
needed behavior modification. I remember her counting to one. Not
really sure what would have happened if she got to three. The death
stare I got with one was enough to make me worried I'd pee my pants
with fear and get in trouble anyway. I can't count how many times
I've overheard a mom say, “ . . . two, two and a half, two and three
quarters . . . “ What? Fairly sure my mama would have Ninja slapped
me if she got past one. Or worse. But it never would have occurred to
me to misbehave like that in the first place.
That
instinctual sense of courtesy and respect have followed me into
adulthood. And I'm grateful for it. I'm proud to be nice. Civilized.
I'm careful not to embarrass myself or those I'm with in public. Not
to say I haven't stuck my foot in my mouth at times. Hell, I've even
wedged that sucker up to my thigh a time or two. It happens. But for
the most part, I'm aware of my behavior and how it affects others. I
don't understand how this has become such a foreign concept. I mean,
how hard is it really to be polite? To be courteous? To not holler at
someone from 20 yards away? I figure if I can make the effort to put
a bra on before I go to the store, other people can make the effort
to act slightly more civilized in return. But if you're going to
insist on acting like a heathen in public, just keep in mind that
someone with less manners may throw a can of peas at you.
You just put into the thoughts I have had for the last 10 years or so. It truly is amazing to think that our society has gone downhill in the manners arena. Very disturbing and quite frightening.
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